haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
