youre lurking in front of me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
