my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
