I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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