Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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