YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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