you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
