I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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