belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
