Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize