I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
