I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
