His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
