Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
