I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
