Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?

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(845): View more from New York

Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier

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(972): View more from Texas

Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

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(519): View more from Ontario

mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes

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(713): View more from Texas

Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.

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