Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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