I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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