you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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