Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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