just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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