Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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