Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
