I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
