thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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