remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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