he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
