i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize