Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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