ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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