Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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