i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
