i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
