She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
