Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
