ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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