Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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