their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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