I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
