we're blogging at a bar
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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