So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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