I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
