she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
