thanks...oh and i got my period
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml