just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.