Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
