Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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