somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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