I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
its not stalking. its research.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
