I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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