he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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