my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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