fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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