I hope mine doesn't look like that
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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