I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
