M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize