My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
