I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
