What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
