My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
