Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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