Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
